What Might Have Been
by TheDragonBlossom
Summary: Song-fic. Max reflects on his new life with Tess, and wonders if leaving Liz was really the right decision...


Title: What Might Have Been  
  
Author: TheDragonBlossom  
  
E-mail: Sumomo_Tenshi@yahoo.com  
  
Rating: PG 13  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell, or any characters from Roswell. I also don't own the song What Might Have Been-I believe Little Texas does. You guys already knew that though, right?   
  
  
AN: Just to clear a few things up, I DO NOT support the Max/Tess pairing. I'm Max/Liz all the way! The reason why this story is Max/Tess is just because that pairing worked better with the song. So with that said... Read and review everyone, I hope you like it!  
  
  
BTW: The little swirly thingies signify the start and end of a part of the song. The lines in between them are part of the song. Okay just wanted to clear that up for those of you who couldn't figure it out yourselves.. ;-)  
  
  
~  
Sure I think about you now and then  
But it's been a long long time  
I've got a good life now I've moved on  
So when you cross my mind  
  
I try not to think about  
What might have been  
'Cause that was then  
And we have taken different roads  
We can't go back again  
There's no use giving in  
And there's no way to know  
What might have been   
~  
  
Max closed the old book of pictures and sighed. Sometimes he missed her..Sometimes he wondered if she had really been his destiny. Sometimes he just thought that if he had fought harder with fate, wrestled with it until he could break it to his will..Then they would still be together now. Just thinking of her, her deep brown eyes and russet hair..And how when they had stared at each other they had looked into the other's soul, known each other's thoughts and read each other's hearts...He knew they had had a bond that was rare, and neither of them would ever have something like it again. Everything had been perfect when they were together...The sun had shined brighter, the stars had twinkled merrily, and it had seemed like gray clouds never could penetrate their baby blue sky...  
  
But then the nasty demon called fate had come into the picture, in the form of his meant to be wife, Tess. At first he had thought he could deny destiny, deny his fate with her. But then he had realized that this was bigger than him, and bigger than her, and some things are impossible to escape.  
  
So here he was, three years later, living in a large apartment with his wife, Tess, and his son, Zan. He knew inside that part of him did love Tess, was happy with the life he led now, was content..But the other part of him was torn apart, wondering if that fateful night he had made the right decision.  
  
~  
We could sit and talk about this all night long  
And wonder why we didn't last  
Yes they might be the best days  
We will ever know  
But we'll have to leave them in the past  
~  
  
It had been a warm midsummer night, three years ago. He had proposed to Tess the day before, and she had accepted. They were going to be married the following month, and so far they had told no one. He knew in his heart that even though he didn't want to face her, he had to tell Liz. She had to be the first one to know. So with uneasy foreboding in his heart he had gone to the Crashdown, and walked beneath the ladder that led to the balcony outside her room. For a moment he had just stood there, unsure of what to do. He could just climb up like he had so many times before, but now that just didn't feel right. Hesitantly he took a step forward towards the ladder, and then quickly retreated a few steps back into the shadows. He couldn't tell her..He just couldn't..Losing his resolve he began to walk away..  
  
But then like magic she had somehow known he was there. Known he had been waiting there, waiting to talk to her. She had come to the edge of the balcony and called out his name, and at the sound of her voice his resolve had returned. Even if he didn't want her to, he knew she needed to know.  
  
So he had gone to the ladder, and climbed up to the balcony. Then he had stood in front of Liz, staring into her beautiful eyes, and he had forgotten everything. The world around him had dissolved, and in that fleeting moment, all that mattered was him and Liz. Slowly they had bent their heads in unison, and shared a kiss that was full of passion and pure love. A kiss that neither had wanted to break..  
  
But then Tess's smiling face had flashed through his mind, as if a silent reminder of the choice he had made. And with cold determination, he had broken the kiss, and taken a step a way from Liz. For a moment she had just stared at him, as if not comprehending why. But then painful realization hit her, and her eyes filled with tears. Grasping his hand, she had stared up at him, her expression of pure desperation, without words, asking him if it was really true..  
  
And then he nodded slightly, staring at the ground, unable to meet her heartbreaking gaze. Then she had left..Run away off the balcony, through the window and into her room. He could hear her sobs, hear her screams through the wall. At that moment, he had frozen. Part of him wanted to go to her, to comfort her, to break his vow to Tess and run away with her..  
  
He wanted too..He dearly wanted too..Clenching the railing he reminded himself why he couldn't. All the reasons why...They all seemed so insignificant now. Liz was the world to him. He couldn't let her go...Yet he had to. He knew it. Now was the time to make the choice, and he had to choose to go. For his son, for his planet, for the future. Maybe he would always love her more than Tess. Maybe he would always regret what he did. But he knew he had to do it.  
  
With tears in his eyes he turned around and stared at the balcony one more time. He saw Liz through the window, and held her gaze for a moment. There was a wild anger in her eyes, hurt, and love for him. It took all the strength and will he had to tear his eyes away from her,climb down the ladder, and walk away...  
  
  
  
  
~  
  
That same old look in your eyes  
It's a beautiful night  
I'm so tempted to stay  
But too much time has gone by  
We should just say goodbye  
And turn and walk away  
  
  
So try not to think about  
What might have been  
'Cause that was then  
And we have taken different roads  
We can't go back again  
There's no use giving in  
And there's no way to know  
What might have been  
~  
  
After that night he had only seen her one more time. It was after the wedding, when the lights were going down and the people were leaving. Tess had been deep in a discussion with Isabel, so she had not noticed when he left and went for a walk outside. He felt as if he needed air, and something just told him it was important for him to be there.   
  
After walking for a few minutes, he had seen her. She was just standing, and staring at him. Slowly she walked over to him, with her head bowed. Gruffly she handed him a package with a card attached to it. Then she began to back away into the darkness. But he reached out his hand, and caught hers in his own. Gently he tilted her chin up, to see her face. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, and her eyes were full of deep sorrow, and the same pure love for him that had reflected in them since their first kiss.   
  
Quietly she murmured, I just wanted to give you you're wedding gift..I hope you two are very happy together.  
  
Max felt a pang in his heart at her words, and at that moment even more than ever he felt that he had truly made the wrong decision. Staring into her eyes now, he realized that his feelings for her had never changed, and were still as strong as they had been when he had first fallen in love with her. He would always love her. He would always hate himself for what he had done. Tears began to stream down his own face as well, and gently Liz reached out a trembling hand and wiped one off his cheek.  
  
Liz I'm so sorry..Liz I-I.. Max stuttered.  
  
Liz soothed putting a finger on his lips.  
  
You made the right decision, Max. You were meant to be with Tess and I was the one that got in the way. I'm sorry for everything that I did to get between you two, and I promise that I will never stand between you again. Liz said, her voice beginning to waver at the end.  
  
Max felt taken aback by her words, and before he knew what he was doing he had enveloped her in his arms. Gently, he leaned down and kissed her on the lips. But Liz pulled away.  
  
Its too late for this, Max. Although I would love to stay with you.. You have taken you're road, and married Tess. I must go a different way now. Goodbye for now, and maybe forever. I will always love you, and whether or not you remember me, I will never forget you.  
  
And with that, Liz was gone, swallowed up by the dark summer night.  
  
For a moment Max just stood alone, staring at the receding form of the love of his life.   
  
Goodbye, Liz.. he whispered to the night, wondering if their paths ever would cross again.   
  
For a moment he considered running after her, leaving everything behind and just following his heart. Like he should have done before..He reflected sadly. He couldn't run after her now. It was too late, and she was right. He had made his choice, and now he must stick by it.   
  
Taking one last look in the direction Liz had gone, he turned on his heel, and headed back to Tess. Even though he and Liz could no longer share love, they did still have a bond that none could break. They would forever dwell in each other's memories, and forever wonder what might have been.   
  
  
  
  
~  
And try not to think about  
What might have been  
'Cause that was then  
And we have taken different roads  
We can't go back again  
There's no use giving in  
And there's no way to know  
What might have been  
  
No we'll never know  
What might have been  
  
~  
  
Now is the time to review review review!!! :-D


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